The Double Hip Squeeze is one of the secret tools of a doula. During prenatal visits with clients I teach this move to partners and other birth attendants. As labor progresses, the position of the hands change as well to find the "sweet spot" where the pressure feels most effective to the laboring person. Learn this comfort technique, teach it to your partner. Thank me later.
What's In My Doula Bag?
So what do I bring to a birth? I'm often asked this question by clients. Quite honestly, I bring too much! I'm of the belief that I'd rather have more than I need than not have something and need it. My most used items in my bag are often the smallest.
Bendy straws are an essential! It is important for moms to stay hydrated during pregnancy and labor. It is such a small item but can make drinking water easier for laboring women.
My second favorite item to bring are electric tea lights. Hospital lights can be glaring. To help create a relaxing and inviting space I set up several around the room. There's enough light to see but not enough to take a laboring woman out of her zone. And we want her in her zone!
To help create an inviting birth space I also bring a bluetooth speaker. During prenatal visits I encourage clients to create several playlists. You never know what music is really going to get you grooving until that moment. Making several lists prepares you for the many shifts in labor. Having several upbeat playlists can help bring the mood up during a particularly challenging moment. Having some quiet and relaxing music can help create the calm and safe space a birthing woman needs. Music also helps drown out the beeps of the machines and the buzz of the heart rate monitor. I also work with Hypnobirthing clients who often listen to relaxation scripts.
My bag is overstocked with items I rarely use, but I find comfort in being over prepared in case a client needs something in a moment. I feel it is part of my job to anticipate her needs and plan accordingly.
Postpartum Care
Often times the period after birth is something mothers don't think about until they are in it. It is helpful to prepare for this time beforehand. Some topics to consider before you give birth are: SUPPORT, HEALING, BREASTFEEDING, NOURISHMENT. In this post I will cover the first two topics.
A key component to having a great post birth period is having reliable and helpful support. This can be in the form of your partner, a parent, a postpartum doula, a nanny or a very loving friend. Having additional help around the house can help you feel comfortable and safe during this time of transition and healing. Your physical body is recovering from birth, there is fluid leaking from several places and you probably would really love a shower and a nap. Maybe even a hot meal if you’re able. Having the support of an extra set of hands can really make a big difference. If you do not live near family or if your partner needs to return to work soon after birth, I would suggest hiring a postpartum doula. A postpartum doula supports new mothers and families in a variety of ways. She provides lactation support for any breastfeeding concerns, can do light housework, prepare healthy meals, help to get you comfortable with that new baby wearing contraption you got at your shower, and aid with newborn care. Unlike a baby nurse, a postpartum doula focuses her care on the mother and her needs. Also unlike a baby nurse, a postpartum doula does not work in 24-hour shifts. You are able to purchase blocks of time with your postpartum doula, even overnight shifts. She is there to lend a hand when you need a shower or a nap. I like to remind my clients that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself if vital.
Whether you have an unmedicated, medicated, vaginal or cesarean birth you will need time to heal. Your body has just grown a tiny human who is now living outside of your body. There will be new sensations and new feelings that you will need to adjust to. Here are my top three tips.
Number 1 is to rest. Some cultures practice a custom of staying home with the new baby for 30-40 days. You don’t have to set a specific number of days where you stay home, but take it easy for the first week. Take time to indulge in that new baby smell and cuddle in bed with your little love. Don’t allow too many visitors. Any guests who are coming to see you should be people that you feel comfortable around letting it all hang out. Stay in your pajamas and let them pamper you with food and comforting gifts. When someone asks if they can do anything to help, don’t be shy! Ask for what you need. That can mean quiet time, meals, cleaning, errands, a foot rub, whatever you need. Just ask.
Number 2 is vaginal and perineal care. If you experienced perineal tearing or an episiotomy you’ll need some extra TLC while you heal. Your doula and your care provider can make specific recommendations for your particular needs. A favorite of clients is to make padsicles. Prior to birth you can make and freeze large maxi pads with alcohol free witch hazel and pure aloe vera gel. I always suggest choosing organic ingredients when available, particularly when being placed on a very sensitive area.
To make padsicles:
o In a small spray bottle mix the witch hazel with aloe vera.
o A couple drops each of lavender, geranium, frankincense, and rosemary essential oils can be added for additional healing properties. I recommend using essential oils only if you have experience with them and are confident that you do not have adverse reactions.
o Spray the mixture onto clean, dry absorbent maxi pads. The pad should be damp and not soaked. The pads still need to be absorbent.
o Wrap in plastic wrap or foil and place in the freezer.
o Remove from the freezer about 10 minutes prior to use.
The extra witch hazel mixture can be used as a wonderful peri spray to soothe skin.
Recovery tip number 3 is for vaginal and perineal healing as well. A sitz bath can be soothing option once healing has begun. Sitz baths are available at your local pharmacy or online. You can make your own herbal sitz recipe or you can purchase a premade mix. My favorite brand is Earth Mama Angel Baby. The herbs come prepared in a large tea bag, making it easy to prepare your bath. You simply soak your bottom in the sitz tub.
Having a plan in place and products prepared prior to giving birth can help to give you a leg up on your postpartum healing plan. “Always be prepared” is good advice in life and particularly for the postnatal time.
Why Hire a Doula?
Many people wonder why they need a doula. Maybe you love your care provider and think that they will be enough. Maybe you took several birth classes or read a stack of books. Maybe your partner is a rockstar at support. If so, great! All of those things are wonderful, but a doula can still be a part of your birth team.
One of the biggest concerns I have heard from prospective clients in that a doula will take over their partner’s role. My role is not to replace anyone but rather to compliment. As a support person I am able to provide physical comfort, like counter pressure or light massage. I can also teach your birth partner these techniques as well. I am able to make suggestions to help with the progression of labor or to make you feel more comfortable. By having two support people by your side you are never left alone (unless of course you want to be!). If your partner needs to run out for more coconut water or grab a quick bite to eat, I’ll stay by your side. This way your partner is refreshed and energized to provide the best care for you.
I like to spend time getting to know clients before their big birth day. We typically meet for two prenatal visits in your home where we cover birth preferences and labor positions. We also discuss any questions or concerns you may have. Since the prenatal visits are in your home, you can feel relaxed and comfortable. This also gives me the opportunity to get the “lay of the land” and figure out where everything is in your home that may be needed during early labor. I don’t want to disrupt a laboring mother to ask where the towels or bottled water is! I’ll be able to provide you with your preferred snacks and drinks to keep you alert and energized for the hard work ahead.
Once the big day (likely the middle of the night) is finally here, I arrive at your home to help in whatever way you need. I can simply sit, observe and remind you to relax your shoulders. I can provide counter pressure for those particularly challenging contractions. I can help reassure you and your partner to what is normal/ not normal. My role is to support you in whatever way you choose. I can be as hands on or as hands off as you choose (in a nonmedical way). I will help time contractions and remind you when it is time to call your care provider.
Your care provider is unlikely to be present for the majority of your labor. If you’re giving birth in a hospital, you’ll interact primarily with the nurse assigned to you. She will likely have several patients at a time and her shift will end at a specified time, at which point you will be assigned another nurse. Depending on how long you spend laboring at the hospital, you could have several different nurses attending to you. If your care provider is at the hospital during your labor, (s)he will check in intermittently but is unlikely to spend large amounts of time with you until it comes time to birth your baby. Sometimes your chosen care provider is not on call or is attending to another patient. In this case you will give birth with another care provider that you may have never met before. Having a doula present helps provide you with continuous and consistent support.
By hiring a doula you also gain access to a vast network of birth professionals and providers. I am able to provide referrals to lactation counselors/ consultants, acupuncturists, massage therapists, birth photographers, child birth educators, support groups and much more. Any questions you have, I am happy to help answer. And if I don’t know something, I know someone who does!
Hiring a doula provides you with much more than just the physical support during birth. Doulas provide reassurance, knowledge, education and comfort to both the birthing mother and her partner.
Miles For Midwives
Mark your calendars for October 3rd! Miles For Midwives is coming to Brooklyn, NY to promote and advocate for improvements in maternal care. The day consists of a 5k race followed by activities for the family. Prospect Park will be set up with vendor and sponsor booths that will provide information on maternal health care, postpartum care, yoga, fitness, baby and anything you can think of related to the field. I am personally running in the 5k as well as raising money. This is a cause that I am very passionate about and I would love the support of each and every one! Click here to learn more and donate! Hope to see you there!
Fear is a four letter word
What frightens you the most about giving birth? Is it pain? Is it the unknown? That you might poop in front of everyone? Do you worry that you will be good parent? Is it something else?
Fear has the possibility to make a stressful situation even more stressful. You may end up manifesting your fears in an effort to avoid what scares you. Dr. Grantly Dick- Read wrote an excellent book that I suggest to all of my doula clients and friends (pregnant or not) called "Childbirth Without Fear" about removing the Fear- Tension- Pain cycle. Dr. Dick- Read observed that when laboring mothers were afraid they would tense their body and muscles. The tension in turned resulted in pain. Pain created more fear and the cycle continued until some mothers were so worked up that they had difficulty birthing their baby and needed assistance.
To address your fears, it is helpful to journal. Just take a few minutes and write it out. Don't be concerned if it makes sense. Fears are often not rational so put it all out there. Once you've written out your fears, its time to go over the list and put your mind at ease. Research from reliable sources and speaking with your care provider and/or doula may help you to work though a number of these concerns. Other alternatives are hypnotherapy, talk therapy, meeting with support groups, and meditation. Whatever modality seems to most interesting to you, explore it. There's no one size fits all solution to your unique fears.
Gaining confidence over your birth experience is key to a satisfying birth.
When Does Learning Begin
When does learning actually begin? At birth? Once a child attends school? Annie Murphy Paul gives a thoughtful TED Talk on the subject. I found this video to be an important reminder that how we treat ourselves (through diet, exercise, environment, self care) has longer lasting influence than we may realize. It is especially important during pregnancy to understand how you treat yourself is how you are treating your baby as well. So take care, mama! Eat healthy, nourishing foods. Speak kindly of yourself. Surround yourself with loved ones. Nurture, explore and grow for your own well- being and for the well- being of your little one.
Hypnobirthing
I'm adding skills to my doula toolkit! I attended a Hypnobirthing for Birth Workers course and I have to say I just love it! I cannot wait to attend to a Hypnomama. Coming from a yoga and meditation background, Hypnobirthing just clicked for me. It addresses the physiological and emotional needs of mom and birth partner. The attention to the breath is key in relaxing the physical body and allowing the baby to make it's way into the world. I also appreciate the time and dedication that the birthing mother and her partner have spent on learning and practicing the techniques. They are well informed, relaxed and confident by the time it comes to meet their baby! If you're curious about Hypnobirthing, I highly recommend clicking here and learning more.